Imposter Syndrome Dear Successful Woman, you are not an imposter.

By Farah Al Saeed

“Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud. It disproportionately affects high-achieving people, who find it difficult to accept their accomplishments. Many question whether they're deserving of accolades.”

I recently got a job offer in a governmental place and I had the privilege of trying it out for a couple of months before deciding if I wanted a permanent position.

To summarize my experience, I realized I’d be working harder and longer for the same exact pay, but I had a real shot of actually getting ahead in my career. I was good at it; it was probably the only job where I could be in the field of business as a Civil Engineer. & if you know Kuwait, you know the government sector and career rarely go together. This was the biggest pro of the new job, but I wasn’t excited to go to work every day. My previous (now current) job work was actually fun, and I value that feeling of looking forward to something. Life’s hard, and if you found that thing that sparks you joy, don’t leave it.

 All that being said, as I was ready to tell my new manager my decision of declining a permanent position, she told me I was one of the best employees she ever encountered. She expressed how impressed she was by me the minute she met me, and how smart, sharp, and successful I was. She said she saw me holding management positions in a very short period of time despite my young age, and she valued my opinion as if I was someone who was in this field for decades. As she went on and on about my outstanding abilities, all I could think of was I tricked her.

I verbatim replied “I feel like I’m an imposter”

As she described me from her point of view, I felt like I somehow tricked everyone there into thinking I was so good at this job, and that I actually don’t belong here. I felt like she was describing someone else, like I did not deserve this high opinion of me.

I’m not an insecure person, I don’t usually doubt my abilities, but upon reflection I realized that society likes to make women feel like there’s some sort of catch to why women accomplish great things especially in the workplace. They justify success when it comes to women as a result of connections, beauty, timing, or luck. It’s never because we are actually good at it. As women in this society, it is ingrained in us that we do not belong in the workplace, that we are not supposed to be better than the men. Women who succeed have probably put in triple the effort of men in the same positions. We always have so much more to prove, and once we do it, it doesn’t feel like we deserve it.

Now looking back, I realize I suffered from imposter syndrome. I did not trick anyone. I was actually good at that job, and I would have excelled had I stayed.  I’m so thankful for the experience and how much it enlightened me. I returned to my old job with newfound confidence.

Dear Successful Women,

 You are where you are because of YOU. Your capabilities, your drive, your talent!

Don’t doubt yourself, it’s you.