Hello, May
Farah AlSaeed Farah AlSaeed

Hello, May

A monthly exercise of reflecting on your highlights to train your brain to focus on the positive, assess what no longer serves you, and set intentions for what you want more of.

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The Dark Side of Female Friendships: Wolfsbane vs. Monets

The Dark Side of Female Friendships: Wolfsbane vs. Monets

I approached adulthood with an overgrown innocence that made life both whimsical and dangerous.

I’ve always loved people. There’s nothing that waters my garden more than human connection. To build bridges, to let people in, and to be let in. I believed people. I trusted their words. I wholeheartedly felt that everyone I encountered was good and wanted to spread goodness.

Until I was scorned. Until I no longer saw new people as exciting opportunities to grow, but as warning signs. Until I lost confidence not only in the human race, but in my own ability to judge and assess situations. Do you know how terrifying, how debilitating it is to lose confidence in that? It was a loss of independence. I no longer felt safe, or able to keep myself safe. I clung to those who withstood the test of time and shut everyone else out.

Why?

Because I encountered both wolfsbane and Monets.

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LUCKY

LUCKY

Today, I want to crush the lemons whole, let the sourness seep between my fingers, and drip onto the whole world.
But then, in the midst of the congestion in my mind and on the road, I saw you across the street.
Everything stopped. All the thoughts fluttering angrily around me dropped dead. A flock of birds had gone down in a blink.

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Roots
Well being, Pouring My Heart Out Farah AlSaeed Well being, Pouring My Heart Out Farah AlSaeed

Roots

I choose to bloom so boldly that you cannot trace back my roots. I choose to bloom so fully you’ll assume I was one of the lucky ones, the chosen ones with roots so divine, they cease to exist. I choose to bloom so fiercely that you’ll be so enthralled by the present, you won’t even think to look back. I choose to bloom. Do you?

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“Love is Holding Your Bags for You”
Pouring My Heart Out Farah AlSaeed Pouring My Heart Out Farah AlSaeed

“Love is Holding Your Bags for You”

Many times, I still believe it. That I deserved your violation of my pride and dignity.
And many times, I settle for: but you did carry my bags.
Only later do I realize, it was never about me.
Just collateral damage.
While I will always love you despite it all, some things will change.
You will never carry my bags again.

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in the name of love
Well being, Love, Pouring My Heart Out Farah AlSaeed Well being, Love, Pouring My Heart Out Farah AlSaeed

in the name of love

Hurt

"The worst pain I have ever felt was not from someone I didn’t know, but from the people I loved the most. It’s very confusing when the people who would burn the whole world down to protect you are the ones you need protecting from."

Healing

"My love is when I’m angry, I will protect you from me. I will slaughter my own beasts with all my might before they ever reach you. I will water down the rage with anything and everything I have, even if it costs me."

Commitment

"My love is granting you the best versions of me. It’s saving the best parts of me for you. It’s rationing my resources to ensure you get the absolute best."

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